With Betty Lou’s death, I assumed I would be on my own for
unpacking and settling in. I looked around at the herd of brown cardboard
boxes, wondering what was where, feeling lost and overwhelmed. I remembered the
signature line on my friend Nanette’s email that concluded “Do not do anything
for anyone that they can do for themselves,” something that had seemed cruel to
me when I first read it. But now I saw what it meant: I had ceded doing the
move to Lizz and now I was seriously disempowered to finish it, in part because
I didn’t know where anything was, but more because Lizz had done for me
something I could have done (more slowly, less efficiently, more clumsily) on
my own.
“OK”, I thought to myself, “get it together. Start Doing
Something.” At which point I got a text from Lizz: “Heading to your place to do
some unpacking do not argue about this it will do me good.” And she swept in
and unpacked 90% of the boxes, finally admitting exhaustion about half an hour
after she should have. She was so worn out she forgot her coat and arrived at
home without her keys.
Last evening I had supper with the Wittwers, the couple who
live one floor down and who attend my church, the people who gave me the tour
of Terwilliger Plaza that opened my mind to the possibility of a retirement
home that wasn’t depressing. The pizza and salad were delicious, the
conversation was lively, I met a man named Tom who fought in Italy in WW II and
writes articles for the Terwilliger Plaza monthly newsletter. BJ Wittwer
invited me to come back for breakfast, but I declined, thinking, “ I am
seriously in need of some solitary time in my new place.”
I should have accepted. I’m sure BJ’s oatmeal would have
been better than mine, and I won’t be solitary here anyway – I have to get my
internet access* scheduled, and I need to arrange for my complimentary hour of
maintenance time to get my TV and pictures hung on the walls. I need to pick up
my cat Ochi from where he boarded over the weekend. I need to figure out what
supplies I need and order or buy them. There’s a monthly meeting of the TP
Residents Council this afternoon that I’d really like to attend – it is open to
all residents, and it will give me a flavor of how things run around here. I’ve
already met one of the two floor reps, a guy named Al, who told me, “Most
people are pretty reasonable. There are a few bad apples, but you will figure
out who they are.”
*Internet access. There is public wireless access in the
common rooms (like the sixth floor lobby where I am now, looking out over downtown, thr river, and the hills of east Portland), but I need to get it hooked up in my room. I had to ask three or four people before I found someone who knew
the password to the public wireless – those who want internet access have their own, and those who
don’t don’t care. I can write these entries in my own place, but I can’t post
them until I walk my laptop down the hall. Good exercise, but I WANT MY OWN
INTERNET!! You can guess which tasks will get top priority today.
It's good to get news from the front, now that you have actually moved in. Sounds already like the potential you anticipated is actually there.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about Betty Lou's death.